Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Not Funny

I'm reading: Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Not FunnyTweet this!
When Milky and I went to NYC Comicon, there were cute girls dressed in doe-skin tunics and boots handing out cards that read "Kröd Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, coming this spring!" We took them because pretty girls were handing them out, and it got us closer to their cleavage. That and I'm a sucker for short skirt + high boots. They handed us stacks of these cards because no one was taking them. We sheepishly dropped them on the floor behind us. Oops...
It just didn't look funny, and trust me, I love making fun of fantasy nerds. One of my favorite documentaries is Monster Camp (full review at Pluck You, Too!) which is about LARPers- Live Action Role Players- who dress up as wizards and goblins and throw beanbags at each other, yelling "lightning bolt!" and "2 damage!" It is one of the funniest and yet most touching films you'll ever see, because you get to make fun of people even nerdier than you are, and then see a few of them get a semblance of a social life by the end. Seriously, it's worth a spot in your Netflix queue, trust me.
Now I haven't watched this and probably won't, because even though John Rhys-Davies is in it, he probably should have said "Stinky Comedy Central show. Very dangerous. Indy, you go first." The star is Sean McGuire, who last stooped to playing Leonidas in Meet the Spartans and this seems like another downward spiral in the crapper of his career. The teasers just aren't funny. First of all, his name is Dork backwards. Hurr! And the jokes consist of him saying his "sword" is bigger than the other guy's "sword," and so on. Do we really need a swordsman with a self-esteem problem? Maybe Woody Allen could play him.

Anyway, I'd love to eat my words and have this be a comic masterpiece, just so I could watch hottie India de Beaufort gallavant around in her sexy swordswoman costume. Here's some eye candy for you.


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